Friday, April 27, 2007

That's So Random!

HEAR YE, HEAR YE! I have a very important announcement to make. Our tax refunds have been deposited into our bank account, therefore...

I'm getting my laptop!
I'm getting my laptop!
I'm getting my laptop!
I'm getting my laptop!

For the true effect of what I am feeling inside, you must imagine me jumping and twirling around, and saying this in a very loud 'neener neener' type of voice. On second thought... don't imagine that. It's just not a pretty sight.

So here's my request, it's simple really:

Order it now, PLEASE, and I want it here tomorrow.

Our home has a visitor. Her name is Cathryn, and she is a fellow blogger, an old acquaintance, and the daughter of one of my closest friends. We're excited to have her stay with us for a couple of days, though it is a rather interesting experience because we have some things in common, but yet, we are entirely different. Though I am sure that some of that is simply due to the 'getting to know you' weirdness that occurs when you are trying to make friends.

At any rate, she is very nice, and we enjoyed talking to her last night. She was also very thoughtful and brought gifts for each member of our family - totally unnecessary, but very thoughtful. The girls don't know about the gifts yet, but I am sure they will be thrilled when they see what they are. I'll let you know.

Are Bratz Dolls Too Sexy? I found this article, and my answer is YES. I hate Bratz Dolls - they are worse than Barbie IMNSHO. Of course, today my daughter went to school in a "butt-grazing mini skirt and (a) tight, belly-baring T-shirt" but that was simply because the outfit she chose was a tad-bit too small. But it wasn't THAT bad - really! But I digress. Thankfully, The Princess has responded well to my gentle comment of 'the clothes that they wear aren't very modest' and has decided that she doesn't care for them as well - though I think most of her decision is based on the name alone. She doesn't want to be a 'brat', therefore, the dolls have lost their charm. I don't really care how the battle is won... as long as I win it. :)

The Princess was in dire need of an attitude adjustment when she came home from school yesterday. I made her do subtraction flash cards for about 10 minutes, we cleaned her room, and she learned how to clean the bathroom. Yes folks, it's true, a 7-year old CAN clean the bathroom. She's not to the point where she can do it by herself yet (it was only her first time after all), but she did a good job. Generally, I did half of the job (like cleaning half of the tub), and then made her do the other half.

I probably should make her work more - it's not that I feel like I need to teach her 'the value of work' but more along the lines of 'the value of play'. She needs to work so that she values the playtime more. As it is, if she's not having a playdate or going somewhere, or thouroughly entertained by an activity of her choice, she is NOT HAVING FUN, and she is MISERABLE, and I am the WORST MOMMY in the whole wide world. Her life IS all about fun. That's all she ever does. The only way I see to make her see that she has a TON OF FUN in her life, is to make sure that there is plenty of time for things that she deems as NOT FUN so that she VALUES the fun times. Does that make sense?

Virginia Tech was the topic of one of my posts a few days ago. Dubby posted a comment that made me think a lot. My first response was to start an argument, er, friendly disagreement, with her. Then I thought that maybe we were saying the same thing. Then I had a lot more thoughts that varied from furious to sad, from infuriated to wonder, from disbelief to curiousity, etc, etc. I think my conclusion is this:

I feel sympathy for Cho, because I also feel he is a victim. It doesn't excuse what he did, but what an awful life he must've lived to bring his life (and 32 other lives) to such a tragic end.

As far as teasing goes, I am not naive enough to believe that it was a few random incidents that drove him over the edge. OF COURSE NOT. However, I believe that this person was an outcast from a very early age. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been teased throughout his life. Children are cruel - and once a child is a target, it's VERY HARD to stop being a target. This is only MY theory and it could be wrong - it's a THEORY. But I believe, based on personal experience and my own observations, that PART of his problem was most certainly caused by a lack of respect shown to him starting at a very early age. I don't have a simple explanation - I'd have to go on and on and on before I feel like I could make my thoughts adequately clear so that they actually make sense. And I can't do that... but I will say this (and this is probably MORE than long enough!):

I loved The Princess' kindergarten teacher. She is an incredible teacher. But I have now realized that she was absolutely AWFUL in providing guidance for children's relationships (ie. friendships). Kindergarten was a rough year for The Princess. There were two girls in her class who had become 'best friends' and had decided for some unknown reason that The Princess was to be despised. If The Princess walked up to them in the morning to say hello, the two girls would stick their litle noses up in the air, turn on their heels, and walk away without even acknowledging The Princess at all. IT'S TRUE - I saw it myself. There were countless other incidents, including these two girls telling other girls not to play with The Princess. When I would talk to the teacher about this behavior, she would tell me stories of how 'this is how best friends are'. And the sad part was, I believed it. I was constantly telling The Princess to just ignore it. Tough it out. Be a duck. Don't let it bother you.

And I cried. And I worried. And I watched my child DIE on the inside. It was horrible.

This school year, things are different. The Princess' teacher is all about RESPECT. Any time there is any incident where a child is disrespected by anyone else, this teacher is not afraid to call them on it. It is not a perfect world, or a perfect classroom - there are still PLENTY of problems. However, the message is slowly getting through. The two girls who were horrible to The Princess last year, are friends with her this year. By regularly talking with the kids about hurt feelings, the kids are starting to understand about misunderstandings (the times that you DO need to 'be a duck'), and dare I say that they might even be learning about EMPATHY.

Things are going better. The Princess is beginning to blossom again. Her self-esteem is growing.

The truth is, no child (NO ONE) should be disrespected. I realize that this is an ideal, and it's NOT how things are. But just because 'this is what best friends do' or 'this is how it is' does NOT make it right. I saw first hand what just a few months of rejection can do to a small child - and this was with plenty of love and encouragement of home. I can only imagine what a LIFETIME of rejection would do to someone.

It's true that there are many incidents that you simply can't do anything about and a child must learn to simply ignore it and not let it bother them. But there are plenty of incidents that occur every day that are simply NOT OK, no matter what kind of spin you put on it, and that is why I say - NOT MY CHILD.

Oh, and before I forget... I met David. Cathryn's David. Well, ONE of Cathryn's Davids (I think perhaps she collects them). I think Dubby should rethink her 'no Davids' policy. :)


Blogger dubby said...

I didn't mean to come down hard on you. You know I think you are an outstanding mother. But I would be amazing if the Princess wasn't involved in teasing others from time to time. It IS 100% wrong, but it is also natural and will never go away totally. As adults, we are expected to control it.

Interestingly enough, Dianna's math teacher last semester teased her unmercifully during class, and made fun of former students and other teachers by name.

And when she went in to buy her prom dress, the store owner laughed at her and called her a prude when she asked for one with sleeves.

Real world: You should learn not to tease (or lie, or steal, or gossip, etc.) but it will happen so you ALSO need to learn to handle it.

And yes, I think we do agree. I am just the devil's advocate!

12:49 PM  

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