Something To Think About...

**NOTE** I didn't write this. Supposedly it was an editorial written for one of our nation's newspapers. I don't know which paper, or who wrote it, as no credit was given in the email that I received.

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.



Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.



Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.



Let's say I break into your house.

Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.

But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors. I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for when I broke into your house)."



According to the protesters:



You are required to let me stay in your house.

You are required to add me to your family's insurance plan.

You are required to educate my kids.

You are required to provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do all of your yard work because he is also hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).



If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my RIGHT to be there.



It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working and honest, person, except for well, you know, I did break into your house... and what a deal it is for me!



I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of cold, uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and bigoted behavior.



Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn MY LANGUAGE so you can communicate with me.



Why can't people see how ridiculous this is? Only in America.

Oh Yeah, We've Got An Invite!

The creative juices were flowing this morning, so I've got an invite now. I'm revising the 'ocean in a bag' idea, and going for a simpler card that can be mailed or hand delivered. I took the song 'Three Little Fishies' by Saxie Dowell and changed the words.

Down in the ocean, in the deep blue sea,
Swam one little fishy, sayin’ “Come play with me!
I’m turnin’ 7 and I want to have fun,
So I’m havin’ a party – come on everyone!”

Boop boop dittem dattem whattem chu!
Boop boop dittem dattem whattem chu!
Boop boop dittem dattem whattem chu!
“I’m havin’ a party – come on everyone!”

“Whee!” yelled the little fishies, “This’ll be fun!
We’ll swim in the sea until the day is done.”
(Don’t worry Mom; nobody’s getting wet!
But we will have fun, on that you can bet!)

Boop boop dittem dattem whattem chu!
Boop boop dittem dattem whattem chu!
Boop boop dittem dattem whattem chu!
Yes, we will have fun – on that you can bet!

“Wow!” Cried the little fishies, “Look at all the whales!
And lobsters, and crabs, and lots of tentacles…
An octopus! A shark, and a jumpin’ dolphin too,
We’ll swim and we’ll swim in the ocean blue.”


~~~ That's the front cover. The inside will simply say: ~~~


You’re o-fish-ally invited to an 'Under The Sea'
celebration for Sara Harris’ 7th birthday.

{{ Pertinant Party Info Here }}

Sea you soon!

So, what do you think?

Under The Sea

The King has been very aware that I have been having somewhat of a psychotic episode over the last week or two, and it hasn't been easy on any of us. I went off my anti-depressants and it wasn't a pretty sight. I'm disheartened that my 'normal self' (meaning no meds) is such a witchy person. It's really sad. And I knew that I was out of control, but even when I was TRYING to be nice, everything still came out all crazy-like. My 'medicated self' is an OK person. I have my moments, but I consider myself to be normal. Does this mean that I will have to be on drugs the rest of my life? I hope not. But without drugs... wow. Just not something I (or my family) can live with.

Anyway, if I hadn't been so psychotic, I would have posted all the details about the Princess' upcoming 'Under The Sea' birthday party. But, up until yesterday I hadn't done much else than decide on a theme. So here are some of the ideas I have:

First of all, we'll only be inviting girls to this party. I'm afraid our guest list will be at 19 kids though, because there are 16 girls in The Princess' school class, The Dragon is automatically included, and two of her friends are two of The Princess' friends little sisters, so we all usually invite each other to each others parties. That made sense, right?

Each girl will get to paint their own 'suncatcher mobile' that I found at Oriental Trading Company. I think they're so cute - I hope it will be a really fun activity for them.

We will play a few games, depending on how much time we have left, but it will probably be variations of games that have been around for ages, and/or variations of games that we have played at other parties. It seems like kids don't really get a chance to play games any more - parties are full of magicians and bounce houses, swimming pools, and Chuck-E-Cheese-Token mania. Nothing is set in stone, but I'm thinking a Crab Walk Relay Race, What's The Time, Mrs. Octopus? (The Princess says it can't be Mr. because everyone is a girl!), and Fish, Fish, Shark. We're also toying with a musical chair idea, but haven't figured out how that one is going to work yet... I've got to tie it in to the theme (that's a ME thing, I know the kids don't really care).

We will open presents, and have cake and ice cream. All the typical party stuff! I found a cute 'fish cake' that is simple enough that even I should be pretty successful with this one.

For goodie bags, I found some cute punch balls (the heavy duty balloons attached to a rubber band) with a tropical fish design printed on them. I am going to wrap them up along with some goldfish crackers and/or gummy fish candy, in this cute goldfish package. Of course, they will also take home their mobiles... provided they dry in time. The take home gifts will be few (in comparison to the bags stuffed with pencils, erasers, bubbles, rulers, plastic animals, noisy horns or whistles, candy, etc), but I'd say they are decent gifts, and hopefully something that the parents won't groan about too much (UGH! ANOTHER pencil? We already have 127 of them!). For me, I hate the teeny-tiny bubble containers with animal heads on them, and yes, I am guilty of giving them out - but only once in ten parties. One time I gave out the normal size bubble bottles and those were a huge hit with kids and parents alike. But I digress...

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm a little stuck on the wording of the invitations. It's slowly coming together, but it's not finalized. However, I am very overwhelmed with the decorations! There are so many possibilities, and so many fantastic ideas - it's overwhelming. Darn that budget!

I found tablecloths, plates, and napkins for .97 cents each - in sets of 20 (not the tablecloths!). Perfect! If I have adults or extra kids for some unknown reason, they can simply use the plain ones I have on hand.

I found two giant (over 5 feet long) cellophane (?) posters of dolphins and whales for a total of $4. I'm really excited about these because they will take up a lot of wall space. I also bought a large roll of blue cellophane that I am going to use to cover the windows in our family room. I believe I have 100 feet of it, so I think we are also going to try to hang it in 'waves' across the ceiling. My other idea for the ceiling is to string a bunch of small (5") balloons across the ceiling kind-of to look like sea foam or bubbles. The King is having a hard time visualizing it though - I think it would be cool, but...? I also have a large variety of blue and green colored streamers that could be used for seaweed or? I'm looking at a lot of different types of fish and things to hang from the ceiling too - there are so many choices!

I have to go place an order on Oriental Trading tonight - I've got a coupon for 15% off, plus free shipping! Woohoo! I'll keep you posted.

S.O.S.

OK, all you creative people out there! I need your help.

The Princess' birthday is slowly creeping up on me, and though I still have a month before it arrives, I'm usually done with the 'planning' part of the party by now.

I'm going to make 'ocean' invitations using Zip-lock bags, colored water, sea critter confetti, sand, and a waterproof (laminated) invite. We're hand delivering them, so I don't need to worry about postage or catastrophes at school.

But the wording... OH THE WORDING. I want something clever, and I'm stumped. I've got some really fantastic (not) puns that could be used, but I just can't figure out how to word it.

I know, I know. The kids aren't going to care. This one is for me, OK?

Here are some of the variations that I have so far:

The only idea I really have that's 'together' is this:
Under the sea! Under the sea!
Celebrate turning 7 with me!

Other ideas:
Jumpin’ Jellyfish! The Princess is turning 7!

You’re o-fish-ally invited...

Swim on over to the LastNameHere Reef...

We'll have a whale of a time makin' waves at...

Sea you soon!

And, instead of saying RSVP, use the term SOS.

The Princess gets quite a giggle over 'o-fish-ally' and 'sea you soon!' I'd love some more ideas that are along those lines. Anyone? Buehler? Buehler?

Please help me with the COMPLETE wording of the invitation - don't just say "I like o-fish-ally too" because I'm having a problem with what comes after it.

By the way, I have spent quite a bit of time looking online, and haven't had much luck beyond what I've posted here. There are quite a few fish puns out there (far more then there could ever be a need for), but I'm having troubles finding some that are 1) appropriate for 6 and 7 year olds, and 2) apply to birthday parties or invitations.

Thanks in advance!

Why People Say "I'm Fine."

What a world this is... we walk around with dopey smiles on our faces (or not) greeting most everyone we meet with a "Hello! How are you?"

And the response is inevitably, "I'm fine."

Would you like to know why the answer to this question is "I'm fine"?

I'll tell you. Because nobody wants to tell you how they really feel because they know that YOU DON'T CARE.

The same reason why the answer to "What's wrong?" is "Nothing."

Stupid News People

Last night, one of our local news stations showed an 'exclusive' video of the 'Trolley Square Massacre'. My understanding was that the full version (available on our website ! the television screamed) was more graphic and disturbing then what was shown on TV.

Tonight, they reported that when the police saw the video on TV, they asked for a copy of it.

I'm left thinking, why did the person who recorded it choose to give it to the news station rather than the police?

And then, in another act of stupidity, why did the news station choose to air it rather than give it to the police?

Oh right! Exclusivity. Got it.

Twitterpated

Happy Valentine's Day!

Are you twitterpated with somebody? If so, today is the day to show it. Don't worry, you still have a few minutes left (Mountain Time)! Seize the day!

I have really been struggling with my blog lately. I have a lot of things that I would like to say, but the recurring thought that keeps running through my mind is: "Do I offend?"

I just feel like everything that I have to say is going to
a) hurt someone's feelings
b) piss someone off (which is similar to 'a', but different)
c) start a huge debate
d) offend someone (which is similar to 'a' and 'b', yet still different)
e) all of the above

Part of me is screaming "write anyway!" Like who cares, it's MY blog after all.

The other part of me is cringing in agony because of the imagined aftermath that I just don't have the strength or emotional fortitude to deal with.

It's not like I have anything really earth-shattering to say. My life is rather boring. But lately I've been feeling rather opinionated and have also felt that everything I say (either here or in my 'real' -HA!- life) is offensive to someone - though I certainly haven't meant it that way.

It just comes out wrong.

I could say, please don't comment on my posts, but that is NOT what I want. I want comments. I want people to read what I have to say. BUT... I would like people to LIKE to read what I have to say. I know, I know, I'm soooo demanding.

In a perfect world, right?

Which it isn't.

Today The Dragon told me about the story of 'The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Woof.' That's not a typo. Try as she might, that little cutie simply can't spit out the 'l' in 'wolf' so 'woof' it is. So cute.

The Princess has started taking piano again. She's not doing so well with the practicing, but she is doing very well at her lessons. No crying, no whining, just simply trying her best, which is all we ask. Really.

I'm going crazy with scrapbooking. Dare I say that something has finally clicked, and perhaps I've actually learned how to complete great looking albums quickly? No, I'm not one of those people who can slap an album together in one week, but it's beginning to look like I might completely finish our 2006 family album in as little as 3 months. I realize that this still sounds like a very long time, but I can spend TWO years working on ONE album that only covers ONE YEAR. Even 'new math' can show that I will NEVER get my albums done at that rate. So three months is good. And Costco is loving my photo business, I'm sure.

Digital cameras are good - I love mine (thanks, my King!). But boy, you sure can take a lot of pictures. For 2006, we have approximately 2006 photos. Seriously. An album can only hold about 300 pictures. I have a lot of weeding out to do. There is a positive side to this though. Among all the hundreds of terribly bad photos, lo and behold, we do have a few good ones. It's just no fun to scrapbook scrunched-up faces, squinty eyes, blurry blobs and awkward poses. At least this way, I've got some pictures to choose from!

The Possibilities Are Endless

The King asked me to help him fill out one of those nasty insurance forms for work.

One of the questions was: Within the past TEN YEARS, has any proposed member been hospitalized or had surgery?

Why yes! Yes I have!

So the ask me for more information.

Question number: 9A
Name of individual: Karana
Diagnosis: C-Section
Date began: 3/30/00
Date ended: 3/30/00

... all is going well so far ...

Remaining symptoms or problems:
My life has been taken over by a demanding six-year-old girl who thinks she is a princess. My only comfort is the hugs and kisses she gives me when I tuck her in at night.

We actually answered the question with "none". But oh, the possibilities are endless.

Flashback

Recently I've been doing a lot of scrapbooking. This is a good thing.

I've been working on The Princess' Lion Party from last year. During the party, I had all the kids sign a scrapbook page for her, with a 5x7 'reserved' spot in the middle of the page for the picture with everybody in it.

Well, the picture with everybody in it never happened. Well, ok, it happened, but it was when all the kids were diving for the pinata candy so I have backs, feet, butts, arms, legs... and not many faces. At any rate, it wasn't quite what I was looking for.

Today I decided to make my own 5x7 picture. It looks good on screen, I'm hoping it will print just as good.

For your enjoyment:

Herding Cats

About 7 years ago, I worked for a man who liked to use the phrase "herding cats." That year, there was a Super Bowl commercial where cats were indeed, being herded.

I like to say that getting children to go a certain direction or do a certain something is like herding cats. The past three days have reinforced that opinion.

I spend hours of my life chirping warnings like:

"You need to stay by Mommy."
"If you are not going to stay by Mommy, you need to hold my hand."
"Get back over here!"
"No one gets to be the leader because you need to STAY BY MOMMY."

Or you might hear me muttering something like this:

"Watch out, the ice is slippery."
"Be careful, the ice is slippery."
"Don't jump, the ice is slippery."
"Don't run, the ice is slippery."

Or another day might have me saying:

"Sit on the couch, please."
"Sit on the couch!"
"You need to sit on the couch so you don't fall off and crack your head open."
"No jumping on the couch!"
"OK, let's try this again... YOU. NEED. TO. SIT. DOWN."

Why do I do this? Do I really think that my children will listen to me? Do I still believe that my constant warnings will protect them from harm? Isn't it obvious that they will do whatever it is that they are doing no matter what I say?

Perhaps after they are lost (It invariably ends with one of them saying 'I couldn't see you anywhere!'), or they fall on the ice (The Dragon was stunned as she lay flat on her back staring up at the sky), or fall off the couch (The Princess informed me that her head did not crack open), they will listen to me.

Perhaps.

Happy Birthday Mom!

My Mom doesn't read my blog (not to my knowledge anyway), and I prefer to keep it that way. However, today is her birthday, and I simply must acknowledge it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Love,
Your Daughter

The Ashley Treatment

I am a member of Parent Center, and as such, am subject to weekly emails updating me with information about their website.

One of the emails contained the following paragraph:

Due to a disability she's had from birth, 9-year-old Ashley lives permanently in an infant-like state, unable to hold her head up, roll over, or talk. Her parents and doctors have stunted her growth with hormones so she'd be easier to lift, removed her uterus so she won't have periods, and removed her breast buds so she won't suffer the future discomfort of large breasts. Activists are calling these measures unethical. What do you think?

There was a link to the following page: Burning Question

Upon further reading, I found a link to the blog that belongs to Ashley's parents.

I support their decision. But I'm curious... what do YOU think?